I went to the gym today, I realise that for many people they are probably perfectly normal words to say, but for everyone who knows me, they are quite shocking! I am in my late forties and for at least 28 years I have been overweight, and most of those years I have been obese. I took my health for granted and while I heard the various news stories linking an unhealthy lifestyle with rising cancer rates, I did not think for a second that this would impact on me - how naïve!
So when I had me first brush with cancer just over a year ago, I was an overstressed teacher who loved chocolate and never exercised. I decided straight a way to change things around. We bought a smoothie maker, I started walking, but I felt a heavy sense of shutting the stable door after the horse had bolted!
At first I felt a strong sense of guilt, the only risk factor I had for all three primary cancers was obesity. I felt ashamed that I hadn't taken care of myself, and I hated my body when I looked in the mirror. I was devastated with the thought that I had bought it on myself.
That isn't a place where you can stay though and the only response for me was to change things. I may have been an idiot but there was a hope that I could still change things for the future .. .and so I have! I have lost 3 stone ... with another 3 to go. I walk everywhere and I go to the gym. I have to be the reddest and sweatiest there but I still plod on. I feel so much better. I can go up the stairs without losing my breath, I can touch my toes as well as see them! My skin is clearer and my strength is improving. Who knows what internal impact it is having but I am just so grateful that I have woken up from my inertia.
Cancer can feel like it controls so much ... but there is so much we can snatch back, and it make me feel so good to do so. I can even thank God for the cancer, as I would rather be the me now than the me before.
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